Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
