You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize