im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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