He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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