If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
