please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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