Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
