Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize