I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
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We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
he fucked my hip out of place.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
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She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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