i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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