I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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