i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
