Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I have aggressive nipples.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize