Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
