I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
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