if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
