I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
