he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
