i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Randomize
