Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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