do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
