I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize