i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
