She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
