This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
