peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
