i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
