So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
