He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
