You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
