I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
