you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
