I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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