Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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