He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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