highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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