she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
