you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
