i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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