Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
