Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It's shark week go big or go home
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.