Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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