he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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