I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
