recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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