There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Found your dick twin last night
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
