apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
