you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
