remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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