Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I have so many feelings about this burrito
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
