I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
