im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
