I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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