Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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