I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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