The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
3pm strippers are depressing
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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